A complicated person's married life. help needed

[feelsrgreen]

Hello all.
I have an instance of one man in our tree who has had a conplicated married life.
Briefly from about 1880 -to about 1925, there were three wives in two countries, 2 divorces, a bigamous marriage, a remarriage as well, with children to all wives and a mistress.
Some name changes complcate things.
Nothing criminal, the gentleman appears to be outwardly respectable.
Though all parties are long dead, there can be some decendents who would prefer the details to remain private as I do.
Just need to put the names into the right order on my Reunion tree etc.
I have not, and will not, publish my tree online or publish a book and I don't use any social media, Google, Yahoo and the like.
I don't trust online media in any form with my family details.
So I would prefer to deal with another Reunion member - one to one for just this problem - using email if I can.

BTW Changing the real names to Mr Sam SMITH or Bill JONES would not be easy in this case.
Anyone willing to take the challenge will have my eternal thanks.
Noel

[Bryce Self]

Re: A complicated person's married life. help needed

Hello all.
Though all parties are long dead, there can be some decendents who would prefer the details to remain private as I do.
Just need to put the names into the right order on my Reunion tree etc.
Noel

How about doing just that... Simply record the data of marriage/divorce dates and unmarried status for the mistress among the wives. No published commentary, history or notes about his relationships—and let the perceptive puzzle it out to draw their own conclusions.

I've got a similar situation, even somewhat trickier perhaps. A collateral branch of my family had the 25 year-old son of a respected minister convicted of "ongoing carnal knowledge with a mule." The case eventually involved most of the prominent men of the county, and the family in question immediately relocated from that state into a territory. There the son was married to a local girl within six months and had three children within three years. He found a suitable outlet for his youthful energies, and his father no doubt offered many prayers of thanks.

This is not something that could appropriately be published even after 125 years. In principle, it is a matter of public record because of being a court case. But it was only accidentally that I found the records which had been apparently deliberately misfiled in the wrong part of the courthouse, among another sort of record, and under another person's name. After making copies for my private files, the originals were returned to original hiding place. What I've said here is general enough that the parties could not be identified, and it is my intention never to do so. Some skeletons ought to stay buried.

[Jan Powell]

Re: A complicated person's married life. help needed

Hello all.
I have an instance of one man in our tree who has had a complicated married life.
Briefly from about 1880 -to about 1925, there were three wives in two countries, 2 divorces, a bigamous marriage, a remarriage as well, with children to all wives and a mistress.
Some name changes complicate things.
Nothing criminal, the gentleman appears to be outwardly respectable.
Though all parties are long dead, there can be some descendents who would prefer the details to remain private as I do.
Just need to put the names into the right order on my Reunion tree etc.
I have not, and will not, publish my tree online or publish a book and I don't use any social media, Google, Yahoo and the like.
I don't trust online media in any form with my family details.
So I would prefer to deal with another Reunion member - one to one for just this problem - using email if I can.

BTW Changing the real names to Mr Sam SMITH or Bill JONES would not be easy in this case.
Anyone willing to take the challenge will have my eternal thanks.
Noel

How about entering all the data in chronological order with new people cards as required? Since you aren't publishing the information, you can enter whatever you wish regarding notes. It's your tree so nobody else needs to see it, and you will have the information recorded to refer to at some other time.

I have instances such as yours on my tree. That other people are embarrassed about what I've found is not a problem as those other people don't get to see my tree. I do publish the bare bones of my tree on my own website, but any salacious details are hidden so I don't see there being a problem. So far I have had no complaints and lots of people have viewed my tree.

Kind wishes

[gilbertdh]

Re: A complicated person's married life. help needed

I don't think a mule need go into the genealogy unless there was issue.

But, there is nothing in the above situation that Reunion can't handle. A couple can be in various kinds of relationships (married, unmarried, common law, etc.). Divorces and separations can be recorded. Children can be entered with names different from their parents. The only thing I'm not sure about is successive marriages between the same two people. I think that has to go in a note, but I may be wrong.

Letting the data speak for itself is a good solution. Some of these historical controversies can be seen from many different sides. I have two great great uncles who had children with slaves. That was not recorded before, but I have put it in my file because the descendants of those slave women deserve a heritage. One of the uncles deeded land to his slave and his sons by her in his will. My uncle is listed as their father on their death certificates. The white descendants have not wanted that known. I don't make any judgement, I just record the history.

David

[Dennis J. Cunniff]

Re: A complicated person's married life. help needed

The only thing I'm not sure about is successive marriages between the same two people. I think that has to go in a note, but I may be wrong.

It doesn't have to go in a note, though it can. You can enter remarriages between the same two people as separate marriages, which is probably the easiest way of keeping things well-ordered. But it does mean that if there are children from the various marriages they will be considered half-siblings.

If you're having trouble entering a repeat marriage, you can enter a fake intervening marriage to someone, enter the repeat marriage, and then delete the fake marriage and person.